Monday, August 2, 2010

This just in from the Sad-But-True News Dept: "Justin Bieber's Hair to Write Memoir"

This October, Philip Roth will publish his 27th novel.  That same month, teen-popper Justin Bieber will publish his first book.

Roth's novel is called Nemesis.  Beiber's "memoir" is called Justin Bieber: First Step 2 Forever: My Story (a title in serious need of colon surgery).

At Houghton Mifflin's website, the publisher says Roth's book is about polio: "a terrifying epidemic is raging, threatening the children of the New Jersey city with maiming, paralysis, lifelong disability, and even death."

Bieber's book is about the same thing (OMG!!!).

In the course of his career, Philip Roth has won the Pulitzer Prize, National Book Award, the National Book Critics Circle award (twice!), and the PEN/Faulkner Award (thrice!).  In his "career," Justin Bieber has won the panties from a thousand screaming girls.

The Washington Post's "Celebritology" column reminds all of us doubters and haters that:
Bieber has plenty of material with which to fill a rich life history. Surely there will be an entire section devoted to the tumultuous, soul-searching creative process that led to the writing of "Baby." And if this book is worth any of the ink used to print it, there had better be a chapter -- at least -- devoted to his hair.

JuBie's book will sell for $21.99.  He will make a crapload of money.  Several Barnes and Noble bookstores will sustain minor damage in the first hour of sales and perhaps one or two employees will have to be hospitalized after the crowd-crush of "readers" avalanches through the front doors.

P-Ro's novel will go on sale at the slightly higher price of $26.00.  His sales will be good, but not likely overwhelming.  With his royalties, he'll be able to buy a ticket to go see Justin Bieber: My First 3D Concert and still have enough money left over for a bag of Skittles.

As for me, I'll be reading this book, due for release right around the same time.  And maybe this one, or this oneAnything but a book that will be hair today, gone tomorrow.

No comments:

Post a Comment